I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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what starts with f and ends with c k....???? FIRETRUCK

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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