The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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knock knock go away!!!

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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