9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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