whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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