Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Who is it?

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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all these jokes are horrible now

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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