Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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I like poop in my butt

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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