Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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i committed murder

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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