What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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the WNBA.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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