why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

thumb_up thumb_down

What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

thumb_up thumb_down

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

thumb_up thumb_down

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

thumb_up thumb_down

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

thumb_up thumb_down

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops