knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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