What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Who is it?

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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all these jokes are horrible now

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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