Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops