A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Chicken

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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trump and hillary are both stranded on an island, who survives? america

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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What if algebra teachers were actually pirates, and they're making us find the X so they can search for buried treasure?

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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