Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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