An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Poop

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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