What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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My Nan, that is all.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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