Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Women deserve equal rights.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Why didn't the Mother packed her son's lunch? Because her son Timmy likes to go to the canteen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops