Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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mitchell palmer sucks

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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