Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Alchohol.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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George W. Bush

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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