how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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