What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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test test

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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