Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops