What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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