Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Ehh

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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