If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops