Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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