Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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ert

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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