Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops