- Anti Joke

All of these jokes are about white people

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

PENIS :)

Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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