Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Gary: Hey Bill, wanna hear a joke? Bill: Yes Gary: Okay.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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