Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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What headphones does the farmer use? He is going through a financial struggle at the moment and cannot afford such a luxury.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops