Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests Testicals

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops