Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Pickles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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