- Anti Joke

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

What did john say to bob Hey bob

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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