Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Potassium? K.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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