Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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