you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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