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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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