A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops