- Anti Joke

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

first

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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