If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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What is the best anti joke? Dunno cant think of one

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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