Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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What's up? Your time.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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