Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

What do you can a boy with no arms and no legs? Names!

Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

What did the monkey say to the receptionist? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...