Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the grandma forget to take her pills? A: She died in a tornado

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops