Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Why was the black man very rich? Because he was a lawyer who worked hard and was able to provide himself with a steady income.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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a guy named bob likes sprinkles on his ice cream.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man. A pizza can feed a family of five.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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