what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops