Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Happy Monday!

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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