Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

Dead girls can't say no.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

knock knock who's there? your destiny

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

Obama = ebola

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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