Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Please don't shoot me

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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