Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the blonde jump over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops