What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Justin Bieber

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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