Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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