I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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