I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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